This cold weather provokes a lot of thinking. As I ponder the year that has passed me by, I think a lot about how my focus and motivation has shifted a great deal more than anything else. In fact that is what consumes my mind the most. A whole three-hundred-sixty-and-something days ago I was mostly interested in what new shoes or jackets I could get that could make me look good that might help me be a little more *popular*. Now I just want to find the warmest shoes and jackets but then again even the best won't give me the comfort I need.
Come summer time I had a phase where I was convinced I was going to live off self sufficiency alone, that me and myself alone was the key to finding happiness. I learned a great many new skills and tips and tricks and facts and ideas and beliefs that I truly thought could fly me to Paris. I figured out the hard way it takes more than one person to pilot a plane, and if you want to get to Paris, you need a skilled crew of trusted friends. Of nakama. Now, nakama is a Japanese word for friend but more of like a trusted comrade that you would be willing to risk it all for. Someone that is with you on your journey.
This year I stopped trying to make friends. I set out to sail the seas and find my nakama. Somewhere along the voyage I discovered Insolence, and he my first mate. He has given me courage, audacity, sarcasm, perspective, assertiveness, and a little brashness to balance things out. A true nakama.
I believe the rest of my crew knows who they are, as it is not easy to be a nakama of someone. Though I think I need some more before taking on the world, as it is no simple ordeal. Our destination is Paris with the wind at our backs to get us there. We follow the stars because they are more beautiful than any map and softer than any compass.
Still thinking back it never fails to amaze me how much I need others. Truly need others. The way I am drawn to those people with a whole world in their eyes and magic in their hearts. The way I want to stay beside them like a good fireplace.
The way I can't seem to figure out if what brings me to you is the light of your flames or the warmth of your embers.
- Your captain, Insolence is Bliss
what do you want to do in paris? i was there for 5 days with some friends last june! the city is breathtaking! i hope you get there in 2014. and you're right about needing people. i've always tried to convince myself that i don't need anyone, that being alone is easier, but this past year i have realised that i do need people, and i am so lucky to have the friends and family that i do, and i need to stop pushing them away
ReplyDeleteanyway, before i ramble any further, happy new year! x
Well, not only do I want to physically travel to Paris one day, it's more about what Paris represents. A rendezvous of artist, musicians, poets, and lovers. A place where ideas are born more than rabbits in the spring. A place where reality and romance coexist.
DeleteNot only is it a place where I long to stay, but to bring all my nakama there with me. That is what Paris is to me
Check out my link to Writers Paris to understand more of what I mean by Paris. Plus it has a lot of incredible bloggers and writing and ideas and magic.
If you want me along, I'd be happy to sail by the stars with you.
ReplyDeleteThis is so incredibly enjoyable to read. It's like it's been building up inside of you as a bunch of bits and pieces, and this is what finally came out as a coherent thought.
I've actually never been to Paris.
(I've been to Mexico, though.)
It never fails to amaze me how much I need others.
ReplyDeleteI know this feeling. And while I fought it at first, because I don't like needing others, now I've embraced it and I love it.
It's weird how similar my thought process is to yours. I love how you emphasized the importance in having that one friend who always has your back. It's easy to get carried away with popularity and with graduation coming up it's nice to see people like you who have their head on straight and see more than just what they're plans are for the weekend. I really enjoyed this post. I've always wanted to go to Paris
ReplyDeleteI'd set sail the seas of wonder with you any day. "We follow the stars because they are more beautiful than any map and softer than any compass." freak that was beautiful. Please don't ever stop what you do because it's amazing. "The way I can't seem to figure out if what brings me to you is the light of your flames or the warmth of your embers." I can't seem to figure out if what brings me to you is the light of you life or the strength of your words.
ReplyDelete*your*
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