Sunday, April 27, 2014

Happy Birthday, Dad.





47 years.

You've seen the world change so much.


18 years.

I've seen you change so much.



Cheers to the man who raised me well and taught me right. Congratulations to the man who has lived a life of success and wealth. A celebration for you because you've influenced me more than any other person I know of.

So then why do I not desire to participate in the festivities?

A decade ago there was never a moment I was amazed by you.
Now I can't find a time when you don't disappoint me.

You would show me the night sky and tell me that all the dreamers lived there. Each star inhabited by heroes of legend and decorated with ideas, knowledge, and love. I truly believed that I could shoot for those elusive stars.


"You can't breathe in space." Is all I hear from you now.

Yet your eyes say something different. You sat on the fence of your own internal conflict of luxury over imagery for so long you've forgotten what you're fighting for.

Stories of when you and mom used to be wild adventurous before she was gone is the only time I ever see your eyes gleam with magic. Constantly reminded of what you are forcing yourself to not experience, what absurd justification is going through your head to make you believe that you don't want that anymore.




Happy Birthday Dad, hope it's a good one.



Happy Birthday Russ, I love you. More than you know.



-Insolence is Bliss

5 comments:

  1. I never cry anymore, but my eyes filled with tears as I read this.

    "... you've forgotten what you're fighting for."

    I think it should be strange how much this post means to me. But, really, it has effected me so much.
    It is also probably weird how beautiful this conflict is to me in your life. Your concerns just radiate your pure love for your dad and I think that that is beautiful and rare to find.

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  2. "A decade ago there was never a moment I was amazed by you.
    Now I can't find a time when you don't disappoint me."

    I feel the same about my dad. All the time. And the stars and space metaphor. For some reason that's what made this all make so much more sense.

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  3. It's time for another post. I'm nearly dying now... :)

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  4. It's time for another post. I'm nearly dying now... :)

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