Wednesday, March 26, 2014

In a Nutshell




For a celebration my family had for me, at the dinner my parents had everyone say 3 things they enjoyed about me. Three of my siblings said "I guess he's my brother" or "what they said" and nothing else.

Whenever I use the microwave I never time it with any numbers divisible by 5. I can only use an even number for every 4 odd numbers I try.

Every day at school I receive comments on how many friends I have, yet there is never a moment I feel alone.

I have a passion for exercise, but don't have the motivation to be proactive and do it by myself.

During the last month I tutored seven people for the ACT, but probably won't graduate on time.

The person who loves me the least in my life is the only one who tells me that they love me every day, and she does it out of obligation.

I'm unhealthily OCD when it comes to organizing my desk, homework, and thoughts, yet my room looks like an abandoned nuclear test site.

All my dreams reach for the stars but most days I can't even get out of bed.

My stepmom claims she is trying to help yet fails to see she's the thing that is suffocating me the most right now.

Last week I tried to hitchhike to school and was only received with dirty looks and a mocking chorus of laughter.

I now prefer rainy days over the sunny ones.

Sleep never fails to escape me, but I remain addicted to it.

I can't recall the last time I ate for hunger and sustenance instead of taste and passing the time.

When I'm out of the house I tend to smile bigger and laugh louder though it is just a fruitless effort to convince myself that I can still be happy.

I always eat my pizza backwards, starting with the crust.

Even though I hate it when others are concerned for me, I find myself always yearning for sympathy and help.

I look twice as good in my reflection than in real life.

A few days ago I spent 37 minutes trying to remember what a trapezoid was called.

I've forgotten how to love, but I want nothing more than intimacy in my relationships.

Nothing entices me more than peace of mind yet I consciously notice my sanity slipping.

I can't figure out why I'm writing this, I just know I was supposed to.








And somehow that explains everything




13 comments:

  1. "I can't figure out why I'm writing this, I just know I was supposed to.
    And somehow that explains everything"
    I can't even describe what my heart is feeling at this moment from reading this.

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  2. For some reason I love this a whole lot.

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  3. I like this a lot. It didn't seemed connected but it flowed really well and smooth. I love it.

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  4. This was beautiful. Just. Beautiful. That is all.

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  5. In ten years I bet I'll still remember this post.

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  6. I love this post so much. Half of the things I can relate to and the other half brings tears to my eyes.

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  7. I keep getting on to write a post but find myself on different blogs. I think I am living the life of a reader not a writer.

    Oh good post.

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  8. "During the last month I tutored seven people for the ACT, but probably won't graduate on time."
    I feel you bro.
    "All my dreams reach for the stars but most days I can't even get out of bed."
    That line was gold.

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  9. I know what you mean but I can't explain it, and it's like being in public with an itch, which looks really awkward, believe me. Anyway comments of mine tend to ramble on and on and I'm pretty sure I'm tired as heck so bye.

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  10. This is great. I loved reading it (twice)

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  11. Wow. Wow. WOW! You have a gift. Thank you for sharing you feelings.

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