contemptuously rude or impertinent behavior or speech.
the quality or condition of being insolent.
boldly rude or disrespectful; contemptuously impertinent; insulting: an insolent reply.
an insolent person.
I feel somewhat at a disadvantage right now, for a slew of reasons. Not only do I feel obligated to meet the requirements of introducing myself in this post, but I have convinced my mind that I need to do a lot of explaining. Or rather to detail the story of Insolence thus far, and hoping to captivate you to join me on my quest, in the same fashion a countless number of you have kept me engaged with your blogs.
Enough with the formalities, which I despise in the first place, but I need to explain Insolence. To be more correct, the "experiment" which is Insolence. Having known Nelson well prior to enrolling in Creative Writing I figured he had hopes for me to discover my inner artist, and that the odds of me being a tourist was less-than average, or somewhere around there. Then I thought of an idea, to this day I cannot determine whether brilliant or idiotic, though that has yet to be fully revealed.
The idea was this: Create 2 separate blogs, on the one I give the name to Nelson, do absolutely nothing. On the other, maintain it properly and follow along with where the class currently is, without anyone knowing. I had a plethora of reasons to follow through with this plan, but one caused me to pursue this course more than the others. I strongly wished to see if and how Nelson would me differently if I behaved like a tourist. The goal was so obsessing I really began to outdo myself. Even with my journal completed, up to date, and with blood and sweat bestowed within it, I did not turn it in as if I hadn't worked on my journal at all. Intentionally, I withheld turning in my disclosure regardless that it was signed.
In other words, a complete zero for my grade. Maintaining this was no easy task, as I took plenty of heat from my parents regarding such an ugly grade. It had it's rewards too, Nelson responded well beyond my expectations, which brought me joy. It made me happy to see him treat me with less enthusiasm than the others, and express subtle disappointment towards me. It proved that he loved his work, and his class, and he disliked tourists. So Nelson, if you are reading this, good job. I've gained so much respect and admiration for your reaction to my efforts. Oh, and *surprise*.
It was a complete success according to my findings with the experiment so far, but after truly thinking about how long to keep the act up (the original plan was to be just a few weeks before we reveal our pen names) but there were problems too. The aforementioned grade-parent issues were/are still very present, but I also realized I was missing out on a key part of the experience this class brings: the sharing, commenting, and feedback made possible by linking our blogs together. And that made me sad, so I decided in 2 weeks time from then (4 weeks ago) I would reveal the blog to the world.
If you have a thought process anything like mine you would be thinking of all the inconsistencies with this so far. For example, if this is an introduction blog being posted now then how does that connect with the claim of keeping the blog up with the class from the start of the year? And what is up with the odd time frames? The answer is simple, stupid, and embarrassing. One week from the time I was going to reveal the blog, I was overwhelmingly frustrated with my blog, and on that day it happened to be the last straw on the camel's back. I was so angry that I deleted my blog permanently.
Looking back on it, I need something more than just a facepalm to express my feelings towards that event. The days following, I was really ashamed and at an emotional loss, having no real way of getting back all that effort. Reality told me to give up, and I just about did, but decided to give it another shot. And that's where we are right now. Beginning anew. I'm happy to be doing this again, but it also feels like a watered down version of killing my own child and then adopting a new one in it's place. That is where we meet the present
I just realized how long this is getting. Congratulations to those who have made it this far, comment below and I'll stalk your blog, or continue to do so.
Let's not forgot this is also my invitation to Insolence. I am chronically obsessed with insolence. It has been such a healthy beneficial thing to my life. I find it most fitting the fake blog is Insolent Bystander, the one I deleted was Insolent Awakening, and this is Insolence is Bliss.
Here's a list of what I think our world could really use some more of:
- Innovation NOT related to a better smartphone or apple product
- Romance for adventure
- Self-actualized people
What I am getting after is that the world would be more enjoyable for me if everyone was a little more insolent. Bold, unafraid to criticize, and even disrespectful at times. From about 8th grade until the start of junior year I felt, even by my tears and depression I had a good life, yet something wasn't there. Eventually I discovered insolence; and insolence changed my life for the better.
Insolent behavior provided me with the balance I needed, always giving me fresh perspective, emboldening my actions, and criticizing my sphere of existence. It was the equivalent of falling into toxic waste and gaining superpowers. My world was rocked, I was in control. You could even say insolence has helped me get to where I am today.
I hope you will join me on my expedition into the unknown, and I challenge you to seek out insolence, and dream that my writing can help you find it. Pressing on, ignoring the feelings of loss and emptiness from my mistake involving my other blog, I will see if for this world I can shed some light, offer perspective, and provide INSOLENCE.
- Insolence is Bliss